Lycra Enthusiast Gifts

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

'You lifted your head.'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Knight in shining Lycra!

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

Texturing the Walls

Ladder of Success.

"I hate this time of year."

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

"I think Henshaw is trying to tell us the corporate ladder is out of order."

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

Ladies in Lycra

"Yes, I'm sure it's my glass slipper - arch supports, odor-eaters, and you can see where I chipped away some glass for my bunions."

A minotaur in a cubicle labyrinth

Roger managed to climb higher than any person had ever climbed before, thanks to sponsorship by Alu-Tech Aluminium Ladders.

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"Here it comes!"

Lady Anglea

"Mom!!"

If you rotate the corporate ladder by 90 degrees, you end up with monkey bars.

"I'm inviting you to join my referral network, on Lynxedin."

The Top of the Mountain.

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

"On the plus side, it's nice to be doing something together."

The Wolfman's Crime and his Shameful, Secret, Addiction!

"Autumns's definitely on the way!"

"Just confirming, there are no catch limits or size restrictions?"

'Ralph, how much do you want for that lure? Just name it.'

'When I ask you to bring a friend, what made you think I meant your iguana?'

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

"Each night Lily said her prayers... As the fleas and gnats do bite and gnaw my skin, so shall the worms eat and consume me, in the dirt and dust of the Lord's earth. Amen. And each night her prayers freaked her parents out."