Lycanthropy Lover Gifts

"Here it comes!"

"Oh look, Dave. There's a lovely full moon out tonight."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

Knight in shining Lycra!

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"I hate this time of year."

She was 'bright'. He kept it 'light'. They couldn't help but be attracted to each other.

Distance to horizon varies.

"It's a full moon somewhere."

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

Moths fly to Blackpool for illuminations: 'I'm telling you, you're gonna love it.'

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

Ladies in Lycra

Preachers with far too much input

The Critic...

Family drive along avenue of trees in open top car

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

Devil driving a convertible with many tailpipes

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

'Did anyone ever tell you that you look lovely under the glow of these energy saver lights?'

"I can't wait to put them on."

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

The White Whale Mounted On The Wall

The turning on the lights ceremony

'Look at how the simple little creatures are attracted to the light!'

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.