Lycra Enthusiast Pillows

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

'You lifted your head.'

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Knight in shining Lycra!

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

Texturing the Walls

Ladder of Success.

"I hate this time of year."

"I think Henshaw is trying to tell us the corporate ladder is out of order."

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

"Here it comes!"

A minotaur in a cubicle labyrinth

Roger managed to climb higher than any person had ever climbed before, thanks to sponsorship by Alu-Tech Aluminium Ladders.

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

Lady Anglea

"Mom!!"

The Top of the Mountain.

"I'm inviting you to join my referral network, on Lynxedin."

If you rotate the corporate ladder by 90 degrees, you end up with monkey bars.

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

"On the plus side, it's nice to be doing something together."

"Just confirming, there are no catch limits or size restrictions?"

'Ralph, how much do you want for that lure? Just name it.'

"Autumns's definitely on the way!"

'When I ask you to bring a friend, what made you think I meant your iguana?'

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

"Each night Lily said her prayers... As the fleas and gnats do bite and gnaw my skin, so shall the worms eat and consume me, in the dirt and dust of the Lord's earth. Amen. And each night her prayers freaked her parents out."

The Wolfman's Crime and his Shameful, Secret, Addiction!

'It says,'If you are not 100% satisfied with this lure, may God grant you the wisdom to accept the things you cannot change.''