Lure Connoisseur Gifts

"I don't know. Some swear by worms, others say minnows work best. I try not to get caught up in all the hype."

'You lifted your head.'

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

Pizza and Related Searches.

'If fish are brain food, how come they're dumb enough to get caught?'

'Wow! Where'd you come from?'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

The art of fishing.

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

'Maybe if you make it smaller, put something soft on the end and come up with a better name than 'Cue-Tip'...'

"Five ball in the corner pocket." "Me in the side pocket!"

"It's obviously fake and it looks ridiculous ... still... I find it weirdly attractive."

"My lines have become blurred, I can't remember whether I'm drinking the medicinal or the recreational wine."

'Hank.I know it's your favorite lure, but give it go.'

'Because I paid ten bucks for that lure, that's why.'

"I'm in marketing. My motto is it's all in the packaging."

'Ralph, how much do you want for that lure? Just name it.'

"Just confirming, there are no catch limits or size restrictions?"

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

'It's plastic, Ben, it's only plastic!'

'We have live bait,dead bait,artifical bait,what they're hitting bait,and bait you can eat if the fish don't.'

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."

'It says,'If you are not 100% satisfied with this lure, may God grant you the wisdom to accept the things you cannot change.''