Lunchroom Staff Gifts

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"You owe me five bucks."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'I'd like a round table!'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

"For drinks or dinner?"

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.