Canteen Staff Gifts

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

"Why do people around here get so agitated about stuff like yoghurt?" "It's the culture of the organisation"

'Today's specials - Good, Fair, Lousy.

"We should reload the changer. The Franklins are coming at seven."

Frankly, I've seen better menus on my computer accounts Package.

Wind farm canteen.

'You made me jump,'

I'm the workers safety manager, ...the only place in this company where you get in touch with ugly and dangerous substances is when you eat your meal in the canteen!

A man is in a canteen, there are two coffee makers, one is Mr Coffee, the other Too Much Coffee

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

Attention: the five second rule does not apply to this floor!"

"No, there wasn't a chemical accident. He's just here to change the food in the vending machine."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"You owe me five bucks."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Kitchen Kapers

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Who gets the decaf?'

'I'd like a round table!'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"Room for dessert, folks?"