Catering Staff Gifts

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

'This is my first day on the job. Is anything okay?'

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

The Egyptians trained baboons to wait on tables.

'I caught this industrial spy in the canteen. He was gagging.'

The bad news is that there was an accident yesterday. The good news is that the sausages are free today.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"You owe me five bucks."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'I always cry at weddings!'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Kitchen Kapers

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Canape?

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"This is our soft opening."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'