Catering Staff T-Shirts

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

'This is my first day on the job. Is anything okay?'

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

The Egyptians trained baboons to wait on tables.

'I caught this industrial spy in the canteen. He was gagging.'

"Let me take that for you."

The bad news is that there was an accident yesterday. The good news is that the sausages are free today.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

Counting ribs

"Stephen and I are today's special."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"You owe me five bucks."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'I always cry at weddings!'

Kitchen Kapers

"This is our soft opening."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Canape?

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."