Fast Food Staff Gifts

All people do is eat.

Counting ribs

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"You owe me five bucks."

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'I'd like a round table!'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"Room for dessert, folks?"