Fast Food Server Gifts

Okay, call me old-fashioned, but having to view more cleavage than bun when I get my hamburger is not appetizing.'

'Did somebody order a Grumpy Meal?'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Rump roast?"

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Menu Dating

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Is this still America?'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Can I have flies with that'

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."