Canteen Manager Gifts

Man about to empty his tray into a bin labelled: 'Feedback'.

'Eat it while it's still £6.50.'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Today's special... donuts.

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Cafe Burns.

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

'Chili again?'

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

If you can't afford the milk you drink, there are options. I can put you on a payment plan. Minimal APR since you're such a valued customer. Valued?! You hardly treat me like I'm valued, you miser! YOU TREAT ME WITH CONTEMPT! Good point. Maximum APR, then.

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

'You made me jump,'

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"Let me take that for you."

'This chicken has no taste or character.' 'I thought you wanted to eat it, not offer it a job.'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

'Smells good. What is it?'

Man from 'Environmental Health visits a caf� run by bugs

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'