Lunchroom Critic Gifts

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

"Hi Mike, how's the Leprosy research going?"

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

"At lunchtime Dr. Jones just loves taking union talk with his fellow brothers."

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

Job Safety - Lunch.

At least you got a 'works well with food grade' in lunchroom.

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

'Charles knew Tad was about to snap. Quarterly profits were weak, the network was compromised and now, Tuesday's Brussel Sprout medley in the cafeteria lingered through Thursday.'

"Mexican food?! This is America! I want pizza!"

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"It's a club sandwich. It's like sushi but with bread."

Pink slime hot dogs.

Today's 'Are You Feelin' Lucky' special is all you can eat raw oysters.

Deconstructing Lunch

Mousetrap: 'How was your dining experience?'

'Here she comes with the one o'clock news.'

"I'm still waiting for my coffee. Has Juan Valdez left South America yet?"

"This school is so good, I even learn stuff during lunch."

I'm thinking of suing your caf

'That lunch didn't agree with me - it wasn't tax deductable.'

"I'm talking lunch now, not politics...does this sandwich pass the smell test?"

'Good evening! I'll be your server tonight. Can I start you with the first of many 'How's everything?''

"When you're through with that, there's a water cooler on seven that needs emptying."