Lunchroom Philosophers Gifts

Deconstructing Lunch

"You don't whisper anymore."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

Continental Drift.

"Hi Mike, how's the Leprosy research going?"

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

"At lunchtime Dr. Jones just loves taking union talk with his fellow brothers."

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

"I'll get that. First go get me a glass of warm water."

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

Chinese business cuisine.

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"They want to turn the clocks back?"

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

I have to admit, I enjoyed that fruity concoction you convinced me to try. In light of that, I will extend to you a brief respite from my usually relentless attacks upon your character.

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

"I don't know, sweetheart. Perhaps Daddy can tell us if chickens have souls."

"I'm only writing fake product reviews until I find someone to publish my novel."

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

"We're migrant coffee table dwellers, and we adore the unassuming simplicity of your lounge."

"Sir, your sitting here and drinking coffee while simply musing is making our guests uncomfortable."

"I keep it on to remind me that I managed to escape a life of crime before I was in too deep."

"It's a novel about quarterly reports."

"Mexican food?! This is America! I want pizza!"

When I was a kid, I dreamed of going to medical school. I wanted to be a psychiatrist. Really? But I was great at football, wound up playing in college and got derailed. Everything came so easy. Who needed medical school? House of Java.net Cybercafe. But maybe what really happened was that I suffered concussions, and lost my drive and ability. and not I just hang out all day and serve as a sex object for hot chicks. Worked out beautifully. I need to get some concussions.

"We're close to being reliant solely on renewable sources of outrage."

"I forgot to bring my lunch - could I clone yours?"