Loves A Good Pun Pillows

Sesame Street's Short-Lived Safe Word of the Day Segment.

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

"So, are you working Mr Smith?"

Driverless Car

"This must be for charging bigger vehicles."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"Think about the honey."

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

Museum of Mediocre Art.

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

Hell's Schlegel

'I can't help you, it seems you really are npsycuts!'

The static electric eel is very rare.

Larry's Literary Market.

Weather forecast

'Yes, of course they're prints.'