Lovers Of Witty Cartoons Gifts

'Between you and me, I'd rather be me.'

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"

Horror movies

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

Cat being licked by plant.

'Wheee!!' (Penguin using Walrus as a trampoline)

CEO Bonus - 'Those in favor of my exhorbitant bonus say 'aye'. Those opposed say, 'Good heavens, I've been shot!'

"After a thousand years you may receive a questionnaire on the quality of my torture. So if for any reason you think you can't give me all tens, please let me know."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

That's a street lamp, Steve.

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

"I'm not doubting that it does the job well. All I'm saying is that it might be a little more than is actually necessary."

'Well, my company can offer the best prices because we've got the lowest personnel expenses!'

Golfer in a tree.

"You must be the demolition team."

EuroPygmees

Need to know basis

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

Some new Greek gods - God of Debt, Austerity, Unemployment.

Eskimos Rowing Out to Igloo

Man putting his brain in glass before bed.

'I hate to let you go, but I can't afford an astrologer AND a spin doctor.'

'However, the jurors unanimously agreed that Blogojevich is the politician with the best hair!'

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

Occupy God's Vacuum

"I mean, have you tried not being an Elephant?"

Way out man!

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'm beginning to think that this merger wasn't such a hot idea.'

Sleeping Fish.

Wild Bill Hickok. Really wild Bill Hickok

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."