Lover Of Witty Cartoons Gifts

Eskimos Rowing Out to Igloo

"What I don't get is why once we fly south we don't just stay there."

'Go right ahead. I know you're bred to be mean and vicious, just as I'm bred to be altruistic.'

'I know all about 'dog years,' but that still doesn't make you senior man around here.'

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

Need to know basis

'You've got over-flight ban, Barack!'

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

How Moms explain.

'It's a bill collector!'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

Golfer in a tree.

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

"You must be the demolition team."

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

"Mind if I have the guys over to watch some poker?"

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

Man putting his brain in glass before bed.

'However, the jurors unanimously agreed that Blogojevich is the politician with the best hair!'

Sleeping Fish.

'Do you have a reservation?'

'Don't use the sauce-it's insulting to the chef.'

"Incorrect postage, wrong zip code...it's your type we encourage to use email!"

"I mean, have you tried not being an Elephant?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Well there's certainly nothing wrong with your reflexes..."

'Between you and me, I'd rather be me.'

'Can't you take 'em down the recycle centre like everybody else?'

Bird Feeder Restaurant

"He was riding his motorcycle with his mouth open! Let's just say it was an unpleasant experience for both of us..."

'Don't mind Jacob. He was raised by dogs and is just committing you to memory.'