Lover Of Clever Cartoons Gifts

Clock in Prison measures years not hours

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

How Moms explain.

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

"You must be the demolition team."

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

Need to know basis

Golfer in a tree.

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

Eskimos Rowing Out to Igloo

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

Man putting his brain in glass before bed.

'However, the jurors unanimously agreed that Blogojevich is the politician with the best hair!'

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

"I mean, have you tried not being an Elephant?"

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

Moses in the 10 items or less queue: 'Ooops! I'd better put some back.'

'Do you have a reservation?'

Sleeping Fish.

'Don't use the sauce-it's insulting to the chef.'

"Incorrect postage, wrong zip code...it's your type we encourage to use email!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Well there's certainly nothing wrong with your reflexes..."

'Between you and me, I'd rather be me.'

'Snake eyes or no snake eyes, the tall, skinny guy at the end of the table wins again.'

'Don't mind Jacob. He was raised by dogs and is just committing you to memory.'

'Can't you take 'em down the recycle centre like everybody else?'

"We have an exceptionally loyal workforce."

Bird Feeder Restaurant

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"

'Watch out for falling archers.'

'Oh, come on! you know I can't read.'