Lover Of Clever Cartoons Mugs

Clock in Prison measures years not hours

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

How Moms explain.

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

That's a street lamp, Steve.

Golfer in a tree.

Need to know basis

"You must be the demolition team."

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

Eskimos Rowing Out to Igloo

'However, the jurors unanimously agreed that Blogojevich is the politician with the best hair!'

"I can't shake the feeling that people don't respect me."

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

Man putting his brain in glass before bed.

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

"I mean, have you tried not being an Elephant?"

"Incorrect postage, wrong zip code...it's your type we encourage to use email!"

'Don't use the sauce-it's insulting to the chef.'

Sleeping Fish.

'Do you have a reservation?'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Moses in the 10 items or less queue: 'Ooops! I'd better put some back.'

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'Between you and me, I'd rather be me.'

"Well there's certainly nothing wrong with your reflexes..."

'Can't you take 'em down the recycle centre like everybody else?'

'Oh, come on! you know I can't read.'

"We have an exceptionally loyal workforce."

Bird Feeder Restaurant

'Don't mind Jacob. He was raised by dogs and is just committing you to memory.'

'Snake eyes or no snake eyes, the tall, skinny guy at the end of the table wins again.'

Underdog.