Loves Witty Cartoons Gifts

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

'It's a bill collector!'

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

"You must be the demolition team."

Golfer in a tree.

Need to know basis

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

Eskimos Rowing Out to Igloo

"I can't shake the feeling that people don't respect me."

Man putting his brain in glass before bed.

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

"Mind if I have the guys over to watch some poker?"

'However, the jurors unanimously agreed that Blogojevich is the politician with the best hair!'

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'Do you have a reservation?'

'Don't use the sauce-it's insulting to the chef.'

"Incorrect postage, wrong zip code...it's your type we encourage to use email!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I mean, have you tried not being an Elephant?"

Sleeping Fish.

'You didn't chew, did you ?!'

"Well there's certainly nothing wrong with your reflexes..."

'You must be the one interested in the job as a temp?'

'Between you and me, I'd rather be me.'

'Snake eyes or no snake eyes, the tall, skinny guy at the end of the table wins again.'

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"

'Can't you take 'em down the recycle centre like everybody else?'

"You should know better, Malloy... If I gave you a raise it would jeopardize the whole economy!"

Bird Feeder Restaurant