Fans Of Witty Comics Gifts

"How did you make that money? Did you pull a job without me?"

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

'Wheee!!' (Penguin using Walrus as a trampoline)

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

That's a street lamp, Steve.

Need to know basis

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

'Good news! That spot is B-9!'

Eskimos Rowing Out to Igloo

'The bad news is you've got something no one's ever heard of...the good news is we're naming it after you!'

"Mind if I have the guys over to watch some poker?"

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

'I hate to let you go, but I can't afford an astrologer AND a spin doctor.'

'You're sexy when your mind is somewhere else.'

Maybe we should put away our phones - she's trying to text on a cracker.

"The doctor is a little squeamish, so don't mention anything gross."

'...Dewey, you go long. I'll take th snap and... Ohhhh, man! Who just sprayed?'

You must be this tall to bump head on sign.

Wild Bill Hickok. Really wild Bill Hickok

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'I knew it was going to cost me when I saw the Mahogany tongue depressor.'

'Between you and me, I'd rather be me.'

OK, when we're together and we're being attacked, there's no need for both of us to drop our tails: let's flip a coin for it...

'The recession is now affecting Ralph's hairline.'

'Watch out for falling archers.'

'Oh, come on! you know I can't read.'

"Yep, I was the little runt you used to tease all the time! Guess what, I had a late growth spurt..."

"Wanna go for a ride on the trouser snake?"

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"