Fans Of Funny Comics Gifts

'...Dewey, you go long. I'll take th snap and... Ohhhh, man! Who just sprayed?'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

'Let's get a kitty.'

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

'Wheee!!' (Penguin using Walrus as a trampoline)

"It covers up all the debt."

Giant Headless Horseman

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

"It's your turn to change him."

'You are pigeon toed.'

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

Self raising Lazarus.

Fake News for Fake People

Gender Reveal

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

Tuba Player Stores a Barrel of Beer

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

'When I said, throw him out, I didn't mean it literally.'

"You know darn well my maiden name wasn't Rex. Why do you ask?"

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

"Mom said we're old enough to take care of you, so this is our new chain of command!"

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."