Lover Of Quirky Gifts Pillows

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Easter Island Cheeseheads

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Emergency Phone.

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'We have three minutes left.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

High speed cinder block

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Will you be wanting this?'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

A baby using a heavy duty drill

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'