Lover Of Peculiar Gifts Pillows

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

Emergency Phone.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'We have three minutes left.'

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

How Amazon was invented

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Kissing the Fish

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

High speed cinder block

Balloon dog poos.

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"Shouldn't have, you really."