Lover Of Medical Puns Gifts

I don't think you can call a Mulligan in the middle of surgery.

'I suspect your problem isn't stress related, right?'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Happy Birthday to you.

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"Gross."

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Time for your pills.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Long shift?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"Turn your head and cough."

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

Mobile Operations Stand.

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"Darn it, lost another swab."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'