Lover Of Medical Puns Pillows

'I suspect your problem isn't stress related, right?'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

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'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Long shift?'

'Time for your pills.'

"Gross."

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

"Turn your head and cough."

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Mobile Operations Stand.

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'It's your four basic food groups.'