Healthcare Pun Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm softening my position on the spending binge the doctors have planned for my health care."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"I don't leave home without it!"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Snap out of it.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'If you want a second opinion, come back tomorrow, and I'll tell you the same thing.'

'You need some stress.'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."