Healthcare Pun Lover Gifts

"We'll have to keep him overnight for tests, will require a loaner?"

"Now, you might feel a slight pinch, since part of this procedure involves me pinching you."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Snap out of it.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'If you want a second opinion, come back tomorrow, and I'll tell you the same thing.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'You need some stress.'

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."