Lover Of Heritage Humor Gifts

"They just don't build hedges like they used to."

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Yes, all at once!'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"Is it free-range?"

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

The Algonquin Round Table

"Hey Arthur, check it out, a shooting star. That's a sure sign of luck, my friend."

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"