Lover Of Historical Humor Gifts

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

The Thief

"The IRS auditor is here, a Mr. Torquemada."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Early on-line shopping

"Bonk!"

Moses unblocking the toilet.

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

The Algonquin Round Table

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

The Enemy

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"