Historical Humor Lover Gifts

The Algonquin Round Table

"If you ask me between your stuff and my stuff, there's just nothing left to invent."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather just get the vaccine?"

"You're on a what?!"

Policeman and horse thief

It would have placed him alongside such greats as Da Vinci and Van Gogh, but then, on a whim, he decided to add some stink lines.

First attempt at serfing circa 1275

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'How Sir Isaac Newton discovered swing bowling'

'Did anyone think to measure this thing?'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"Let's keep it small-just the Pilgrims, the Indians, and the Rosenthals."

Pontius Pilates

Two Chimney Sweeps.

Footman and groom talk about the rector's weight in horse terms

Hadrian's Fence

'Once you're over the Alps you're going to need a marketing director.'

Blackbeard needed help living up to his name.

'Slay it if you want to, but I'm not cooking it.'

'Them things with wings...witches,obvious witches...'

"JC is lagging behind in the polls. I say we nail him."

'My startup could really use a pioneer type like you.'

'Please sir, does this contain nuts?'

'If they're not hunter-gatherers, and they're not seed planters, what in thunder ARE they?'

'It's a post from sitting bull, he's just 'unfriended' General Custer.'

"Half a kingdom you promised me."

Immunity on the Bounty

"As your accountant I'd advise you to hunt, gather, and invent the tax shelter."

"Hey! Get a load of the acoustics."

"Um, is this a good time to bring up sensible gun restrictions?"

"I told you before! I need a food taster who likes brussel sprouts!"

"This song is inspired by the time I fell down the tower stairs."

"Summer is the worst time to pioneer!"

Cut Him Down Behind!

Accident with guns