Historical Humor Lover Gifts

The Algonquin Round Table

"If you ask me between your stuff and my stuff, there's just nothing left to invent."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather just get the vaccine?"

Moses unblocking the toilet.

"You're on a what?!"

It would have placed him alongside such greats as Da Vinci and Van Gogh, but then, on a whim, he decided to add some stink lines.

Psychologist Birthdays

Policeman and horse thief

First attempt at serfing circa 1275

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

'Did anyone think to measure this thing?'

'How Sir Isaac Newton discovered swing bowling'

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'Once you're over the Alps you're going to need a marketing director.'

'Slay it if you want to, but I'm not cooking it.'

Hadrian's Fence

Footman and groom talk about the rector's weight in horse terms

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

'It's a post from sitting bull, he's just 'unfriended' General Custer.'

Immunity on the Bounty

'If they're not hunter-gatherers, and they're not seed planters, what in thunder ARE they?'

"JC is lagging behind in the polls. I say we nail him."

'My startup could really use a pioneer type like you.'

'Blimey. You're right. Happens every time I get dressed in the dark.'

'Them things with wings...witches,obvious witches...'

Two Chimney Sweeps.

"Half a kingdom you promised me."

Blackbeard needed help living up to his name.

'Please sir, does this contain nuts?'

2200 BC: Egypt experiences Beetlemania

Pontius Pilates

"As your accountant I'd advise you to hunt, gather, and invent the tax shelter."

"Let's keep it small-just the Pilgrims, the Indians, and the Rosenthals."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. VII

The Shuttle-Cock Nuisance.