Lover Of Bad Dates Pillows

'What's a lovely girl like me doing in a place like this? How should I know, you brought me here!'

In Desperate Straits.

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"My love language - I give words of affirmation when receiving gifts of cheese."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

'It's not you, Richard. It's your ring tone.'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

'You write books, you say!'

"You're the first guy I've met who really listens and blah, blah, blah..."

"Sunsets were cooler before he wore transition lenses."

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

'I'm a herbologist. I study this guy.'

'I know the Super Bowl is about to start, Paul, but did you forget we have a date tonight?'

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"I'll be honest, Raymond. I really don't give a damn about the wetlands."

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

'Sure. That's why I wear open-toed sandals.'

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

'You'd better go home now, Ted -- I'm beginning to feel lonesome.'

'Here comes my date now. When I first met him, I assumed he was a good listener, but that hasn't been the case.'

'What I'm about to say, Miss Pomeroy, may shock and disgust you....'

"I'm not ready for a relationship, maybe after I've finished this bottle of wine?"

Sandra had heard that men liked to be asked about themselves.

NO, I don't want to hear 'my dog's has fleas'!