Lover Of Bad Dates Gifts

'What's a lovely girl like me doing in a place like this? How should I know, you brought me here!'

In Desperate Straits.

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"My love language - I give words of affirmation when receiving gifts of cheese."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

'It's not you, Richard. It's your ring tone.'

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

'You write books, you say!'

"You're the first guy I've met who really listens and blah, blah, blah..."

"Sunsets were cooler before he wore transition lenses."

'I know the Super Bowl is about to start, Paul, but did you forget we have a date tonight?'

Your shoulders are like silk. For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

'I'm a herbologist. I study this guy.'

"I'll be honest, Raymond. I really don't give a damn about the wetlands."

'Sure. That's why I wear open-toed sandals.'

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

'You'd better go home now, Ted -- I'm beginning to feel lonesome.'

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it. (This cartoon was originally published on 2010-08-28).

'Here comes my date now. When I first met him, I assumed he was a good listener, but that hasn't been the case.'

'What I'm about to say, Miss Pomeroy, may shock and disgust you....'

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

"I'm not ready for a relationship, maybe after I've finished this bottle of wine?"