Nostalgist Of Quirky Dates Pillows

'Why even come, Harris?'

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

In Desperate Straits.

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"My love language - I give words of affirmation when receiving gifts of cheese."

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

True Loves

"Here's your... neti pot... to share..."

Spud dating.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

Florist. You're taking your new girlfriend to the aviary for Valentine's Day? Yes -- It's a cheap date.

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

"Sunsets were cooler before he wore transition lenses."

Ventrilamatch.com

Your shoulders are like silk. For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

'I know the Super Bowl is about to start, Paul, but did you forget we have a date tonight?'

'I'm a herbologist. I study this guy.'

'I wish you were available online.'

'It's our anniversary... make it two toppings.'

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

'You'd better go home now, Ted -- I'm beginning to feel lonesome.'

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

"I've never dated a yam before, tell me a bit about yourself."

"We were two ships that passed in the night for a couple of nights in a row."

"Yeah sure I know Santa."

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

Sandra had heard that men liked to be asked about themselves.

'Oh, sorry. I guess I forgot to mention we're going to a nudist resort.' (Another memorable first date for Jennifer.)