Love Life Landlord Gifts

Real Estate Lust

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'No ice.'

Romance

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'I know it's gassy...'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Shaken not stirred

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"It's no good - I just can't do this without a brief and a deadline."

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

Barman In Love.

"Just water for me, please."

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'What happened to your hand.'

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...