Love And Laughs Pillows

"Of course you still make me laugh, just not out loud."

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

Office Policy: Never Have More Than One Clown On A Team.

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

'No, you don't have hemorrhoids. You have a case of himorrhoids, has your husband been a pain in the butt, lately?'

'Right, now learn this trick...'

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Will you stop comparing me to your mum!"

"Must you sing, 'I'm in the mood for love' everytime you want sex?"

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

A field goal kicker kicks his teamate instead of the ball through the goal posts.

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

'I've written you a song' - 'Oh, that's very kind of you. What's it called?' - 'It's called 'I'll stay with you forever baby.'' - 'How sweet. Let me hear it...' - 'Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai,

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

'You've definitely mastered it, Richard, but not every song is appropriate for the chicken dance.'

'Oh yeah, I forgot.'

'Let's go upstairs and make love. I can't do both.'

"You said to hire a face painter and I did! Bill is a mortician!"

'I was warned about online dating.'

Apparently, there are manuals, and then there are MANUALS.

Please Wash Feet Before Returning To Work

'We've been married one year, Roxie...it just seems like seven.'

'Don't worry about it, nurse. Mr. Jones is one of my private patients.'

"Because he didn't even change your name. That's how I know he was talking about you."

'To this century's most obnoxious party guest...'

"Please visit our website and tell us about your experience with this sale. You can win a gift card good for a free glass of lemonade."

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

"Being with you reminds me that the days are getting longer."

"See anyone who tickles your ivories?"

I also scheduled a pickup after we finish toiling in the fields. Amish Uber.