Love & Laughter Seeker Pillows

"See anyone who tickles your ivories?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"Projectile hairballing."

"What did Jesus order?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

Speed Dating.

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Drunk Barber

The Wishing Well

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"Try a danged head shot!"

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Football heads...