Love & Laughter Seeker Pillows

"See anyone who tickles your ivories?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"What did Jesus order?"

Speed Dating.

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"Projectile hairballing."

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

Drunk Barber

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

The Wishing Well

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Football heads...

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'