Loss Of A Spouse Gifts

'Edward, will you promise that if I die first you won't go crazy and get your nose pierced?'

I realize we all grieve in our own way, ma'am, but the crematorium staff did not appreciate the fireworks you put in your late husbands pockets.

"... I'm just saying; grieving widows don't normally dance on the coffin singing, 'I'm in the money'."

"My husband doesn't' get too excited when the market is up nor too depressed when it's down. My husband is deceased."

'Before we can pay off on your husband's life insurance, you'll have to prove that you're not better off without him.'

'I just couldn't bear to be without Floyd. So I had him stuffed!'

'Bertie, you promised!'

Arnold Hazlet and beloved wife Tamira (unless she married that guy across the street)

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

'Late husband.'

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"We've made contact. Here's a tweet from your late husband."

'Is everything alright, honey? You never ask for money any more.'

Setting out the bedding plants was one of his few remaining pleasures,

'How about hitting my wife's new boyfriend?'

'Are you sure his wife asked for fresh flowers in his lapel every day?'

'My husband won't miss me 'til he runs out of clean underwear.'

"If you're up there, Agnes, please find a way to send me the bank password!"

Finally Had the Last Word....Did Not!

"Harold is back. He couldn't stand my 'selling low' in our stock portfolio!"

"We were watching a TV programme and he asked me to wake him when it was all over. Then, I tried to wake him, and it was all over."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"I can't believe he's really dead, mum. He looks just the same as he always did."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"Congrats, now you already have eight stamps on your loyalty card! One more dead husband, then the tenth is free!"

"Not six penny nails, man! Use twenty penny nails to seal my wife's coffin."

"At least my husband died doing what I love."

"I imagine you're keen to catch up with your late husband?"

"That's right! Grieving widows wear black!"

"I suffer from depression since my wife died."

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

She knew you too well. Other side, stupid.

"Thanks for coming, Olga - I want you to help me contact my husband."

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

"Roger always lived on the edge. Then one day he fell off."