Loners With A Twist Gifts

'No man is an island.' 'Try telling Ben Becula that.'

Club Antisocial

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Very drunk professional cyclist

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

Tycoon on beach listens to "office sounds" on CD player

'That reminds me - your hospital appointment is next week.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

Nijinsky Moving Company . Ballet dancers.

'Hello line 2, you are through to the keep fit phone in...'

'It's just that when I said 'I wish I was a babe magnet'...'

"I wanted somewhere like England, but in Spain!"

'Data on distance, ball velocity in conjunction with wind strength being assessed...'

"I hate my gym."

"A lot of people say that my absence is my best feature."

"Go deep."

Basketball Nerds.

'His new mobile texts, sends emails, takes pictures, faxes, sends pictures. It's just a pity he hasn't any friends.'

"I was hoping this place would have a travel ban in place."

"You need some low-impact exercise. I suggest deleting all the spam I get as it comes in for the next month."

Stay with your present market investments. Your stock will start to pick up any time now.

Grandparents' 3-Legged Race.

"Hey pal, what I do above the tree line is my business and nobody else's."

Castaways Not Welcome

'Inside of me is a skinny person urging me to join a gym. That's when I sedate her with a slice of chocolate pie.'

Woman returning from Weight Watchers - ""You're late - did you get detention?"

"He keeps himself to himself."

'I'm nobody's best friend, I'm an Indie.'

'He said he wants to stay there, captain.'

'You have no new messages!...You have no old messages! Get a life!'