Loner Lifestyle Gifts

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Club Antisocial

Homo Zapiens

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

The Sedentary Dead.

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

"Believing life begins at 40, Dave decided to take it easy for the first 39."

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

Quiet night? Liven up that game of solitaire with a Mexican wave.

'No man is an island.' 'Try telling Ben Becula that.'

'Its part of our new range of inactive wear.'

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

"Have you been here long?"

'That is the laziest way to walk a dog I have ever seen.'

"Of course I know where the kitchen is, it's where I keep my beer."

'... and with the advent of Email, fax machines, cellphones and Blackberry's, more and more executives are working from home.'

'Just because I'm eating alone doesn't mean you should suggest the 'loser' special. But I'll take it.'

"A lot of people say that my absence is my best feature."

"I like to mix up my exercise routine, usually with sitting on the sofa drinking beer!"

At lunchtime he carried on extensive fax conversations with himself.

Meet the publisher's entire marketing dept. 2-4pm

"You unfriended them all - remember?"

Castaways Not Welcome

"I can't remember the last time I had a face-to-face conversation with a real live human being. . ."

"Hey pal, what I do above the tree line is my business and nobody else's."

"Pay no attention to him. When he refers to his morning work out he's talking about getting out of bed."

'He said he wants to stay there, captain.'

"Do you want fries with that?"

'I'm nobody's best friend, I'm an Indie.'

"He keeps himself to himself."

'It's from the University of Life...you failed!'

"He's very lazy you see, so he wanted a pet that would live a long time and that he would not need to walk every day: here I am..."