Loner Lifestyle Gifts

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Club Antisocial

Homo Zapiens

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

The Sedentary Dead.

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

"Believing life begins at 40, Dave decided to take it easy for the first 39."

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'No man is an island.' 'Try telling Ben Becula that.'

'Its part of our new range of inactive wear.'

Quiet night? Liven up that game of solitaire with a Mexican wave.

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

"Have you been here long?"

'That is the laziest way to walk a dog I have ever seen.'

'Just because I'm eating alone doesn't mean you should suggest the 'loser' special. But I'll take it.'

'... and with the advent of Email, fax machines, cellphones and Blackberry's, more and more executives are working from home.'

"Of course I know where the kitchen is, it's where I keep my beer."

At lunchtime he carried on extensive fax conversations with himself.

Meet the publisher's entire marketing dept. 2-4pm

"A lot of people say that my absence is my best feature."

"I like to mix up my exercise routine, usually with sitting on the sofa drinking beer!"

"You unfriended them all - remember?"

"Pay no attention to him. When he refers to his morning work out he's talking about getting out of bed."

Castaways Not Welcome

"I can't remember the last time I had a face-to-face conversation with a real live human being. . ."

"Hey pal, what I do above the tree line is my business and nobody else's."

'He said he wants to stay there, captain.'

'I'm nobody's best friend, I'm an Indie.'

"He keeps himself to himself."

"Do you want fries with that?"

'It's from the University of Life...you failed!'

"He's very lazy you see, so he wanted a pet that would live a long time and that he would not need to walk every day: here I am..."