Professional Loner Gifts

'... and with the advent of Email, fax machines, cellphones and Blackberry's, more and more executives are working from home.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

Club Antisocial

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"All of my friends are imaginary."

"It's lonely here at the top. Thank goodness I've never been a people person."

'I'm worried about myself, Doc...I'm not spending much time with other cats.'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

Hell, yes, it's lonely at the top. Plus I get nosebleeds.

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

Quiet night? Liven up that game of solitaire with a Mexican wave.

'We were lonely at the bottom and in the middle. I'm sure we'll get used to being lonely at the top.'

"Have you been here long?"

'Just because I'm eating alone doesn't mean you should suggest the 'loser' special. But I'll take it.'

"In the area of human relations, Lewis is a minimalist."

'His new mobile texts, sends emails, takes pictures, faxes, sends pictures. It's just a pity he hasn't any friends.'

Get home. No one there. Oh, the joy of the house to myself!

'Showing up early just makes matters worse. Now I feel more alone than ever.'

Meet the publisher's entire marketing dept. 2-4pm

"I'm sorry, he's on his island right now."

'I know living on an abandoned nuclear test site has its advantages - no bugs, no snakes, no univited guests but did it ever occur to you that there's nothing else here either?'

Jobs that will make you really lonely...

Lonely At The Top - Computer Dating for CEOs.

"I can't remember the last time I had a face-to-face conversation with a real live human being. . ."

CEO washroom...private: 'Well, at least it's lonely in here.'

'Where's everybody?'

"You unfriended them all - remember?"

"Hey pal, what I do above the tree line is my business and nobody else's."

'I'm nobody's best friend, I'm an Indie.'

"A new government survey has suggested that living along and watching too much tv can make some people very angry."