Local Fete Gifts

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

Prize vegetables.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

AA Meeting Here Today

See you at the farmers market!

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

Church Basement Foodie

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Maypole

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

Face painting - children have no faces

The Last-Minute Halloween Costume Parade

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

"Can we discuss this?"

"Hello. . . I'm new in town. Do you know where the local police station is? - I need to sign in. . !"

Ventriloquist's fete

Tombola Winner

Wow! Look what you get when you hire a ride service right in front of a comic book convention!

Garage sale.

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

Food Fight

'Hey! Kid in the blue! Where'd you get that BEER?'

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

"It's been a rainy winter."

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

Church Spire

Choir wearing masks.

"Yeah, it's birthday cake again! With so many of us in the colony, it's somebody's birthday every single day..."