Village Fete Fanatic Gifts

Two stalls at the village fete: Kisses £5.00 and Latest gossip £2.50

Glastonbury. After.

Prize vegetables.

Mardi Gras

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Southwark Fair.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

'But enough of our golden oldies! Here's a new one we just wrote called 'Middled-Aged Hearing Loss!''

"A new Super Guardian attack vehicle? No no, I built this for Burning man."

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

Pinata Zombies

Welsh Dragon

Lithium Fair

'I love rock festivals!'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"You're supposed to buy your alcohol here, not bring it with you!"

'I told Orpheus not to do the music festival.'

Rock & Roll

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

'Our village cricket club' - An exciting finish to a cricket match.

"I know I was ecstatic to get tickets for Glastonbury - it's just that now I realise I have to go."

Last painting of a dog for 200 yd

Paul was certain he had the largest pumpkin, until he discovered he was the smallest man.