Local Fete Pillows

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

Prize vegetables.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

AA Meeting Here Today

See you at the farmers market!

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

Church Basement Foodie

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Maypole

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

Face painting - children have no faces

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

The Last-Minute Halloween Costume Parade

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

"Can we discuss this?"

Tombola Winner

Ventriloquist's fete

"Hello. . . I'm new in town. Do you know where the local police station is? - I need to sign in. . !"

"It's been a rainy winter."

Garage sale.

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

'Hey! Kid in the blue! Where'd you get that BEER?'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

Choir wearing masks.

Comedy Vicar Competition

Church Spire

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

"Yeah, it's birthday cake again! With so many of us in the colony, it's somebody's birthday every single day..."