Village Fetes Pillows

Prize vegetables.

Comedy Vicar Competition

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Country Bumpkin.

Abstract expressionist face painting.

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Face painting - children have no faces

Ventriloquist's fete

Lobster a la Riseholme!

57th Birthday balloons

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

"Do-si-do, I said! DO-SI-DO!"

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

'That be the village sane person,sir!'

You can take the girl out of Kew...

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

"Off to a bit of a bad start, aren't we, Dear?"

"Holy cow! I've gained eight pounds!"

'Ah - Mr. Figgs - you used to work for that bank - anything for the church fete?'

The Pillory: Thief, Gossip, Adulterer.

Happy New Year 2012!

Sign Santa is growing older: 'Ah, Donner, Dancer...the one with a red nose...'

Hear those sleigh bells ringing a ding ding ding a ling...

"Who hired him?"

The village cinema-club was going down a treat with the locals!

Two stalls at the village fete: Kisses £5.00 and Latest gossip £2.50

A town in the middle ages.

"No fair!"

'A small village outside Budapest -February 16, 1407. The origin of life as we know it...'

Beniot and the Bohemians from La Boheme