Loan Shark Dodger Gifts

Money going to shark and piggy bank (colour).

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'Sir, our new financing concept has probably got out.'

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Hear me, Graduates!

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'So, who's first?'

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

Kicking The Habit

It's an I-O-Ewe.

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'We're not clear who is running your company.'

"Could you stop referring to the interest rate as 'the vig'?"

"I can help you get your finances back in shape – you've just got to believe in me."

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

Gone for Broke College

Tonight's Lecture: Your share of the national debt. That explains my credit rating.

You've been extending Randy credit to buy food and drinks? You've no right! That's thousands of dollars. Have you any idea what that … Armstrong? Defibrillator. C'mon, really. It's not that bad. Okay, fine, make a show of it. Defibrillator! And a coroner.

'Another hike in college tuition! The costs are already killing my folks!'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"Scratching the infected area will only make it worse, Mr Bonaparte!"

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

'Money doesn't have wings, feet or wings. My dad says that nevertheless, it disappears with the speed of light.'