Loan Sharks (friendly) Gifts

'Sorry, we can't do you a 200 mortgage!'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

The height of fashion in 1796

Dogs and their thoughts

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'How about a game of cards?'

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Some card-game puns

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Stag poker"

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

Notoriously losing pieces, the Varns could only have family game night by putting together whatever they could find. 'Checkmate!' 'You sank my Battleship!' 'You didn't say 'UNO'!

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"I'm watching the dog cheat at solitaire."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'Sir, our new financing concept has probably got out.'

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Updated History: "Pokerhantas and John Smith." I'll call you bet and raise ten bucks.

Playing cards.

'He's not much fun in the evenings -- he's solar powered.'

'Once again, I fold.'

'Yes, Sir, all the computers are solitaire game 'free'.'