Livestock Legend Gifts

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Chase me, chase me cows.

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Sick Rancher Humor

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

Cheesie Rider

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

Quick, Gardener's World is on!

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

Lawrence of Suburbia

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.