Literary Livestock Fan Gifts

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Chase me, chase me cows.

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

Cheesie Rider

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

Sick Rancher Humor

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

'We complete each other...'

'I used to love the wild abandon of the old stampedes.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

'Pork bellies are up...'

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'