Livestock Learner Gifts

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Chase me, chase me cows.

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Cheesie Rider

Sick Rancher Humor

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

'We complete each other...'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'Do you believe how easy it is to find corn on the internet?'

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

"We raise our beef humanely."

Shepherd

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

Genetics Lab. You developed a dwarf cow? I call it "mini-moo"!

'Pork bellies are up...'

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

The herd of hearing.