Livestock Inspector Gifts

Theft and Illegal Slaughter of Livestock

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Your lobster was off!

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

HELLth Food Sprouts

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

*=Hotdog

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

"I think the milk's off!"

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

Our Troubled Chowders

"I've been mutated into the strawberry field. Get me out now."

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

Horse meat scandal.

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi